Tuesday, January 17, 2012


I haven't posted in forever so... ten second catch up starting NOW!
My summer was AMAZING, I went all over (literally) and I loved every second. My first semester of nursing rocked, school was tough but fun, I finally found a roommate I like enough to live with again, and I got my first official boyfriend. Christmas break flew by and I was lucky enough to spend it in England, France, and the Netherlands with my amazing family. Now I'm back and school working on my second semester of nursing just looking forward to the day I will graduate and finally be able to start the career I've always dreamed about (Just over 11 months now...)

Ok so that was more like a minute but whatever...

Well, that little update leads me to my current 1 AM "I really should be going to bed but I'm thinking about so many different things at once I've gotta put them down somewhere" situation I am currently in.
You see, I have recently been struggling with a decision. It is the worst kind of decision, the choice between two good things. The kind of decision that is a complete risk and has the potential to end really bad or really good, no matter what I choose. There a risk in every direction I choose. So what right? Just pick something and go for it. You see, the problem isn't about taking the risk, it's about the consequences that follow regardless of that risk. Someone always gets hurt.

It is hard, you know, trying to decide who to hurt. It is absolutely, 100% awful. It is one of the worst feelings in the world trying to pick who you are going to hurt. There is no right answer. I wish someone would tell me exactly what to do. Or at least show me a month or so down the road after the decision has been made so I can decide with some knowledge of what is going to happen.

You see, here I am: I am 19 years old, I am loving college life, I have got great roommates, great friends, amazing family, and incredible boyfriend, I'm less than a year of fulfilling my career goal I've had for over 6 years, and I feel like a piece of junk. There is no right answer. At least, not one that can be seen in the next few months. My life is too perfect, and I feel like a brat for complaining about that. Trials are no fun, faith is hardest at times when it is needed most. I need to go pray. Here's to hoping it will all turn out the way it's supposed to.

But, no matter what the answer is, the moral of this post : The choice between good and evil is simple, it is the choices between good and good that are the hardest to make.

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